Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone

From the Harvard Negotiation Project—which brought you the megabestseller GETTING TO YES—this practical guide will help you handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill

Whether dealing with an underperforming employee or a challenging colleague, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a client, or simply saying “No,” “I’m sorry,” or “I love you,” we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. No matter how competent we are, we all have conversations that cause anxiety and frustration.

This book can help. Based on almost thirty years of research, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step approach for how to have your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You’ll learn how to:

• Decipher the underlying structure and challenge of every difficult conversation

• Raise tough issues without triggering defensiveness

• Manage strong emotions—yours and theirs

• Keep your balance no matter how the other person responds

• Get to the heart of the matter in ways that promote learning and build relationships

Filled with examples from everyday life, this third edition is thoroughly updated and addresses issues such as race, culture, gender, power, social media, and communicating via technology as we talk to one another across the world—and across worldviews. With constructive communication an ever more critical need in personal, professional, and public life, Difficult Conversations is a classic you will turn to again and again for powerful, practical advice.

Douglas Stone is a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, a founder of Triad Consulting (a global corporate education and organizational consulting firm based in Cambridge, MA), and co-author of Thanks for the Feedback.



Bruce Patton is Cofounder and Distinguished Fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project, where he leads the Rebuild Congress Initiative. He is also co-author with Roger Fisher and William Ury of Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.



Sheila Heen is a Professor of Practice at Harvard Law School, where she heads the Negotiation teaching program.   She is a Deputy Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, co-author of Thanks for the Feedback, and a founder of Triad Consulting.

Author Residence: Boston, MA